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January 28, 2009

Thoughts on a change of season

Jack Jack's potty training changed everything for me, mentally.

Suddenly, I don't have a toddler in the house anywhere. I have had toddlers underfoot for 6 years without pause. I heard everyone saying that this was a season that would pass, and while I smiled and nodded, I think I just didn't really believe I would ever have a spare ten minutes to myself again. Or at least, until I was too old to do anything with it.

That three kids in less than three years was a doozy of a choice.

Now, I would like to say, for all those people who told me, "This time will go by quickly. Cherish it", to those people I say, "It's over! It's over! Someone throw a party! It's over!"

I know those of you who just dote on babies are appalled. But I'm not a baby person. And here's a list of reasons why I currently LOVE my life:

  • We all do puzzles together and no on eats a piece or tries to put a piece into the DVD player.
  • We all sit in big chairs. We all set the table together and clear it together. In fact, for three nights now, the dishes have been done and the family room cleaned up before the kids have gone to bed.
  • We all read the same book and later I hear them all re-enacting the book (with embellishments) together.
  • We can all go on walks together and getting to the end of the driveway takes ten minutes instead of the hour it used to take.
And so on... I'm pretty sure that I have hit my sweet spot in mothering. Truly. I LOVE homeschooling them - I wouldn't want to lose a single minute of this precious time. Thank you, my darling husband, for making it possible at great personal expense.

Mermaid Princess has grown up SO much this past year. Her questions are profound; her wounds are starting to be deeper and take longer to heal. She needs to be challenged or she gets feisty. There is no toddlerhood left in her anywhere it all - in fact, it is far easier to see the lady she is becoming than the toddler she once was. That makes me count the days so dearly - I am daily becoming more keenly aware that the time she has been allotted to me is finite. She is not MINE; I am raising her on behalf of her heavenly Father and must be prepared to release her to His custody in the years to come.

Flash is becoming ALL boy - daily he asks me, "I'm strong, amn't I?" or "I was the fastest, wasn't I?" I can count on being leapt on from points varied and various at least three times a day. He's learning to read and the immense delight I feel each time he makes another connection in how words go together makes me want to hoot, cry and do a jig at the same time. I'm sure he would enjoy it if I did.

JackJack... oh my sweet, charming, tenacious boy. My close companion and great curmudgeon. The one I have to get up early for because I have to be on my game before he is all the way conscious or the day is an upstream battle. He misses nothing and has already learned to find (or make) loopholes where none existed. Where the other two love easily and with abandon, he is more selective in his choice of people to love, but far more intense and loyal to his chosen few. If I had just one word to describe him, today I would say, "Intense."

It would be fine with me if we paused here, in this sweet season, for a while, in this place where I am still mostly right and things can be fixed with a kiss and a cookie. Where we are intrigued equally by the world at our fingertips and the world in our imaginations. In which love does not yet associate with pain, and storms go hand in hand with rainbows.

It is sweet indeed.

Of course, we had a good day today. That helps.

January 15, 2009

Alive! Alive! Alive, Hallelujah! Alive, praise and glory...

Oh goodness... well, we're still alive. In fact, I think we are all better than ever. And I've stored up a treasure trove of funny stories to post on here. I'm scared I'll forget them if I don't get them in here soon.

I'm not sure why I took this long break. I think I needed to clarify for myself why I'm blogging, what it means to me, and when that was clear, I could then decide how much time and dedication to allot to it.

For instance, if this spot is just meant to be a humorous little place to record the goings-on of life, well, that has it's place, but I'm certainly not going to stay up past my (new) bedtime to get it done.

But after much reflecting and spending the last week pouring over blogs, mostly blogs dealing with homeschooling, I think I've realized the purpose of the blog in my life. It forces me to meditate a little bit more about what is taking place in our family, like a journal. In fact, I think, in place of a journal.

And so, be prepared, for I think this blog is about to take on a new feel. I still want to capture the precious moments so that they are preserved for my dotage... but this will also be a place where I ruminate and wrangle.

In blunt terms, this blog is no longer being written for anyone but me. I hope you continue to enjoy it, I certainly do, and I hope that what I'm working on in my life helps someone in theirs. However, this is now my place to capture my "Aha" moments because in these past few months of no blogging (or journaling for that matter), I've noticed that the 'Ahas' slip away into the land of missing puzzle pieces if they don't get recorded.

Aha!

Wishing you all peace beyond measure and grace beyond understanding in the new year...